Never Be The Same Again
by Big Cliffy Meanie1
Summary: What did TJ and Spinelli really feel in the experiment? What if they lied to everyone, and hid their feelings? Takes place after the experiment; what do they feel? Will they confront their feelings? One shot song fic. Please read and review!


Well hello! Its been a while since i've written, its been a while since my last (rather dismal ) attempt at a story. I kinda lost my mojo for a while, but I'm back to post this! I hope you all enjoy it, I had the idea in my head for months, just needed a song to pair it with. I finally found one, and after lots of writers block and editing, here it iis, a one shot song fic!

I've tried my best to keep the charecters true to life, which hasn't proved an easy task, but, I hope, despite this, i've achieved my goal!

The song its written to is called 'Never be the same again' by 'Mel C and Lisa left eye lopez' have a listen/watch here (just delete the spaces):  
www. youtube watch?v=iwM3nlihSHo

I dont own Recess, or the song Never be the same again.

Enjoy!

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**Come on. Ooh, yeah.****  
****Never be the same again.****  
****I call you up whenever things go wrong.****  
****You're always there. You are my shoulder to cry on.****  
****I can't believe it took me quite so long.****  
****To take the forbidden step.****  
****Is this something that I might regret?******

**(Come on, come on)****  
****Nothing ventured nothing gained.****  
****(You are the one)****  
****A lonely heart that can't be tamed.****  
****(Come on, come on)****  
****I'm hoping that you feel the same.****  
****This is something that I can't forget.****  
**

11 year old Ashley Spinelli sat in her room, the events of the day running through her mind, as she tried to make sense of them. Today, she had kissed her best friend TJ Detweiler in an _experiment_. Being the 'tough girl' she was, she'd tried to put up a fight, and avoid kissing TJ.

Until the moment she pulled the short straw, she never realised a person could feel so many emotions in such a short snippet of time; especially not someone like herself, who had always attempted to squash any impractical or girly emotions. Anger, sure, that was something Spinelli could feel, but those other feelings, the ones she usually kept a tight hold on, were causing her far more inner turmoil than she'd of liked.

When she'd pulled the straw, for a split second she felt utter glee: she was going to be able to kiss her best friend, and crush (although she hated to admit it to herself), TJ Detweiler. That feeling of glee quickly disappeared as she realised that when she kissed him, something that only occured in a deepest darkest dreams, that she might not be able to hide her feelings from everyone, or, more importantly, herself. Beforehand it was easy to repress said feelings, but after a kiss, would it be quite that easy? The thought of kissing TJ terrified her, was she ready to kiss him? Was she ready to potentially let loose those emotions, what if she really liked it, what would she do then? And more importantly, everyone would be watching her!

**I thought that we would just be friends.****  
****Things will never be the same again.****  
****It's just the beginning it's not the end.****  
****Things will never be the same again.****  
****It's not a secret anymore.****  
****Now we've opened up the door.****  
****Starting tonight and from now on.****  
****We'll never, never be the same again.****  
****Never be the same again.**

Well, despite cursing herself, and willing herself to feel otherwise, Spinelli couldn't deny it, she did enjoy the kiss, really enjoyed it, in fact, she felt anger at her disappointment that the kiss had ended! She'd pulled away from TJ, and just for a moment, nothing mattered, not her reputation, or anything else, they were completely alone in their moment of bliss. A moment almost seemed to share. Not that it mattered, they both suddenly became aware of the fact they weren't alone, and threw out the reaction they knew the crowds needed and wanted: horror and disgust.

Now she just wasn't sure what would happen between her and TJ, the moments they'd been alone after the experiment as they returned to class had been awkward. They spoke of how they wouldn't believe such a stupid story, about girls and boys enjoying kissing, but not quite meeting each other's eye as they did so. When in class, they both kept stealing glances at each other, trying to assess the situation between them. Things hadn't improved on the walk home, while they walked with the gang it was fine, each busied themselves talking to another of the gang, effectively avoiding each other. When Vince, the member of the gang living closest to them left for his own home, they were left to walk the remaining distance home, in an awkward and uncomfortable silence.

This led to Spinelli to where she was now, she and TJ had muttered a quick goodbye, and ran to their separate houses. She'd screamed at her mother, who'd greeted her by asking how her day was, to leave her alone, and shut herself in her room. Spinelli's thoughts had been interrupted by a knock at her bedroom door.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE" screamed Spinelli at the closed door.

**Now I know that we were close before.****  
****I'm glad I realised I need you so much more.****  
****And I don't care what everyone will say.****  
****It's about you and me.****  
****And we'll never be the same again.**

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MEANWHILE:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Uh yeah, bye then" muttered TJ, looking at his feet.

"See ya" replied Spinelli, bolting away from him.

TJ ran, glancing over his shoulder to see Spinelli hammering on her door, he reached his own front door, and knocked, waiting until Becky opened the door.

"Hey T-Jerk" she taunted, TJ simply walked past her silently and to his room, closing the door and sitting on the bed.

Unlike Spinelli, he was a little more open to his feelings, he'd known he liked her as more than a friend since Mrs Spinelli had revealed Spinelli's 'crush' for him on parents' night. He'd even given her a valentine's card soon after. Being inexperienced in the area of love, he had been happy to leave thing the way they were, he could easily be friends with Spinelli while having a crush on her. His feelings didn't faze him in the slightest; he was attracted to her because her shiny raven hair and ruby red lips DID make her attractive. Anyway, how did he know for sure Spinelli reciprocated his feelings? Sure, she always turned to him in her hour of need, and called him up whenever things go wrong, he still remembered her desperate call on that awful weekend when she had to stay with Finster.

Now however, he realised it wouldn't be quite so easy to just be friends with Spinelli, not the way things were now. Now things were awkward between them, this he hated, and he thought, despite this, that his feelings had grown stronger for her. What TJ wasn't sure of was what to do now, this is something that he couldn't just forget, he needed to do something; hearing his mother return home downstairs, he decided it might be worth approaching her with the subject, even if the thought of doing so made him cringe.

**I thought that we would just be friends (oh yeah).****  
****Things will never be the same again. (Never be the same again)****  
****It's just the beginning it's not the end. (We've only just begun)****  
****Things will never be the same again.****  
****It's not a secret anymore.****  
****Now we've opened up the door. (Opened up the door)****  
****Starting tonight and from now on.****  
****We'll never, never be the same again.****  
****Never be the same again.****  
**

"Mum?" asked TJ, approaching her, feeling uncomfortable.

"Are you going to ask about Spinelli?" asked Becky in a mocking tone.

"W-what?"

"I saw you both outside, have you had a fight? Are you all upset?" taunted Becky, continuing in a sing-song voice "Do you want to make up? Do you love Spinelli? Do you want to kiss her? And marry her? And have-"

"-Becky!" scolded Mrs Detweiler "grow up, stop teasing your brother and stop being so ridiculous!"

"But he loooooooooves her" continued Becky, sensing that she'd hit a raw nerve with TJ.

"He's a child Becky, he doesn't know what love is. The way you're acting you'd think you were too" snapped Mrs Detweiler, before turning to her son "what is it sweetums?"

"I, uh, just wondered when dinner is?" asked TJ, backing out of his plans, feeling foolish and embarrassed. Yes maybe he didn't love Spinelli, he knew he was too young to _love_, but his feelings were definitely in that ball park.

"Dinner will be at least an hour, why don't you run down and play with Spinelli? I could do without you and Becky under my feet squabbling" said Mrs Detweiler, guiding TJ out of the door.

Finding himself outside, he debated his next step, should he do something that he might regret? His Dads favourite saying passed through his mind, _nothing ventured nothing gained. _But it was a big venture, to take the forbidden step, he was just hoping Spinelli felt the same, is she didn't, what would happen to their friendship then? Even if she did feel the same, it didn't mean she'd be ready to open up to those feelings, and with the mood she was in, she was hardly approachable; I mean you wouldn't just kick a hornets' nest would you? Well clearly he was crazy, because that's just what he was going to do.

**Night and day.****  
****Black beach sand to red clay.****  
****The US to UK, NYC to LA.****  
****From sidewalks to highways.****  
****See it'll never be the same again.****  
****What I'm sayin'****  
****My mind frame never changed 'til you came rearranged.**

He approached Spinelli's house, and knocked on the door, feeling as though he were about to face a firing squad.

"Hello BJ" greeted Mrs Spinelli "have you come to see Spinelli? She's in an awful temper"

"Yes please" said TJ allowing Mrs Spinelli to let him in "Is she in her room"

"She is, she's been stomping around since she arrived home" replied Mrs Spinelli "How are your other little friends? Gretel, Vance, Rus and Mickey?"

"They're all fine thank you" said TJ, suppressing a smile at Mrs Spinelli's inability to remember anyone's name correctly "I'll just head up to her room if that's ok?"

TJ climbed the stairs to Spinelli's room, knocking on the door, the response made him jump.

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE"

**But sometimes it seems completely forbidden.****  
****To discover those feelings that we kept so well hidden.****  
****Where there's no****competition.****  
****And you render my condition.****  
****Though improbable it's not impossible.****  
****For a love that could be unstoppable.**

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MEANWHILE:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Uh, Spinelli" came TJ's voice from the other side of the door, making Spinelli whip around "it's me TJ"

"Hey Teej" said Spinelli opening the door and looking at her feet uncomfortably "Um, come in"

Now he was here, TJ hadn't the faintest clue how to approach the subject, and he wished he hadn't of come at all. Instead of running away, he went with the first idea that came into his head.

"So I was thinking of the experiment" he said "I don't think we can really trust the findings, it was supposed to be just us, but it wasn't, everyone was watching us" continued TJ, his heart thumping as he began to feel more and more foolish "so that made us nervous, we would have been a lot more comfortable in front of the gang, so we don't know for sure if what Butch said was true or not"

"I think you're right" said Spinelli, surprising TJ with her response "So what do we do now?"

"I think we need to redo the experiment" replied TJ, before hurriedly adding "You know, just so we know"

"So you wanna do it now or something?"

"Um yes, but only if you want to, I think we need to do it with no one watching at all, then we'll know once and for all"

"Ok" agreed Spinelli, feeling more nervous than before their first kiss, she stepped past TJ and shut the door "So, do we just ...do it?"

"I, uh, guess so" said TJ turning toward Spinelli, realising they were less than a foot apart.

**But wait.****  
****A fine line's between fate and destiny.****  
****Do you believe in the things that were just meant to be?****  
****When you tell me the stories of your quest for me.****  
****Picturesque is the picture you paint effortlessly.****  
****And as our energies mix and****begin****to multiply.****  
****Everyday situations, they****start****to simplify.****  
****So things will never be the same between you and I.****  
****We intertwined our life forces and now we're unified.**

They eyed each other up nervously for a moment, before closing the distance between them, their lips meeting in a soft kiss. This kiss lasted longer than the last, finally they separated.

"I felt nothing" lied Spinelli

"No, me neither" said TJ, now just inches apart from Spinelli, and without thinking, he lent forward and kissed her gently again, his hand on her face. Realising he what he'd done, he pulled back "just checking"

Spinelli's next move surprised them both; she placed her lips on TJ's and kissed him softly.

"Uh... yeah..." she said, biting her lip.

"Spinelli, I might have lied a little... maybe more than a little... I kinda liked the kiss, and I think I kinda like you"

"Well I don't!" snapped Spinelli, her nerves and pride getting the better of her, seeing the hurt look on TJ's face she quickly backtracked "Ok, maybe I did like it... and you-BUT IF YOU TELL ANYONE I'LL PUMMEL YOU INTO DUST!"

"I won't tell anyone" said TJ, taking a small step back "as long as you don't tell anyone neither"

"Your secret is safe with me man" replied Spinelli "So what do we do now?"

"Well it's not a secret anymore, I know we were close before, but now, as Mikey would say, we've opened up the door to our real feelings"

"I thought we would just be friends, things are never gunna be the same again are they?" asked Spinelli

"No, Spin, starting from tonight, and from now on, I don't think they are, I guess some things are just meant to be. You know what? This is just the begining, I don't care what everyone else will say, this is about you and me!"

"Well I care! We have reputations to maintain TJ, and what are you suggesting?! We're ten!"

"I know we are" replied TJ "I'm not suggesting anything big, just that we maybe be more than friends? And maybe sometimes, if you want to we could kiss again?"

"Well I don't want every kid on the playground knowing! And we're too young to be girlfriend and boyfriend, that stuff is just way too much"

"Ok then what about we're more than friends in secret? Not boyfriend and girlfriend ...just more than friends?"

"Ok" agreed Spinelli.

"Do you want to try that kissing thing again?" asked TJ.

"You'll have to get to me first" said Spinelli, wrestling TJ to the ground, when she had him pinned, she smiled and kissed him, "Don't think I'm gunna be kissing you all the time Detweiler! I'm no girly girl!"

"Good! I don't want to catch cooties!"

"HEY!" said Spinelli, and they continued to wrestle playfully, laughing as they did so.

**I thought that we would just be friends.****  
****Things will never be the same again.****  
****It's just the beginning it's not the end.****  
****Things will never be the same again.****  
****It's not a secret anymore.****  
****Now we've opened up the door.****  
****Starting tonight and from now on.****  
****We'll never, never be the same again.**

**(Come on, come on)****  
****Things will never be the same again.****  
****(You are the one)****  
****Never be the same again.****  
****It's not a secret anymore.****  
****We'll never be the same again.****  
****It's not a secret anymore.****  
****We'll never be the same again.****  
****Never be the same again.****  
****Never be the same again.****  
****Never be the same again.****  
****Never be the same again.**

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There it was, thanks for reading, I really hope you enjoyed it, if so, please review!

Not sure when i'll manage to post another fic, but I'm still here (like everyone else, life is crazy! But im here)

Apologies for any spelling and grammar issues, I'm dyslexic, so may have missed some in proof reading! Please point out any errors for me to correct!

Big Cliffy Meanie x


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